John, I understand and respect your emotional needs...
Ball!
So, Fridays...
we usually go out to the beach, watch the sunset.
You should come.
U-Uh...
Come on,J. T!
- John... - Tucker, shoot!
KATE: If it'll make him shoot, okay.
(crowd cheers wildly)
(screaming)
You.
(cheering)
Yeah!
(screaming)
Kodiaks are number one!
After Thursday's game, it's no question...
which Kate S. Has taken the school by storm...
capturing the full attention...
of the school's greatest prize...
- J. T! - (Tommy shouts)
CROWD (chanting): Tucker! Tucker! Tucker!
Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker!
(cheering)
Sorry.
I've never done this before.
BETH: You put it on her bra?
Guys, he is gonna find that...
in, like, the first five minutes.
Or not.
Beth, can you speak into the cleavage?
Um... Kate's boob cam.
Testing, testing. Hello.
You guys.
(gasps): Oh, my gosh!
- Hello! - Oh, my gosh!
- BETH: Waah... waah... - KATE: Okay.
Okay.
You know, if we play our cards right...
we can keep this going all the way tillJohn's birthday.
That may just work. See?
I've already made a projected Heartbreak Timeline...
based on John's average conquests...
compared to Kate's rising Cool Factor.
Hmm!
So, it leads to two events:
The away game and John's birthday party.
Now, I say our best chance at heartbreak...
is to see how much he cares about Kate.
So we test him...
at the away game, and then...
we crush him...
...at his party.
Bingo.
How do you know he's going to have a party?
Oh, you're so new, it's cute. Okay.
John's birthday is, like, homecoming combined with prom...
combined with MTV Music Awards.
So are you ready for him?
Yes. Okay, so, um, I play hard to get.
L-I count to three. I've got it.
No.
That's when you were playing hard to get.
You're going out. He's got you.
So I count... to four?
Oh, my God, I don't know what I'm doing!
I mean, this is a really bad idea, you guys!
Chill out!
Look, you're with three girls...
who know how he operates, okay?
You'll be fine.
Okay. I'm going to beJohn.
Heather, be Kate.
I don't want to be Kate. You be Kate.
Can I be Kate?
Fine, let Kate be Kate.
- Just go. - BETH: Okay.
Baby, it's your lucky day...
'cause I'm going to take you out tonight.
Where do you want to go?
I don't know.
Where do you want to go?
No! He's not in control, remember?
You are. Right?
- Mm-hmm. - Now, try it with me.
Honey, you know I'm all about what makes you happy.
So, what movie?
Anything you want.
What do you think I want?
And don't be wrong.
- Ka-pow. - Nice.
(clicks tongue)
- Okay. - These.
Okay, wait, it can't hide the camera.
Cleavage. It's going to go in the sweater.
It'll be perfect. We'll hide it right under this...
(guy whooping)
(song playing)
Kate. Hey, you made it.
Yeah.
Hey, Kate. How's it going?
Hi, Tuck. Kate.
- Hey, Kate. - Looking good, Kate.
Hey, Kate! It's Becky from Student Council.
Oh, hey!
BOY: Hey, what's up, Kate?
Looks like I'm out with the most popular girl in school.
Lucky you.
So... tell me about yourself.
I want to know everything; your whole story.
Oh, my story.
Um... It's still being written.
So... it's a mystery.
Mm-hmm.
I like mysteries.
Really?
I mean, what do you like about them?
(sighs): I don't know.
I guess...
I like secrets.
I bet.
Okay. You're right.
Too much talking ruins the moment.
Let me just stand here and enjoy this.
John.
Shh...
The sunset is that way.
Yeah, no, I'm just enjoying...
everyone staring at me in insane jealousy.
They wish they were out with a girl like you.
(chuckles)
So, how did I end up out tonight...
with the most amazing girl in school?
I mean, was it my irresistible charm...
or... my really nice butt?
I think it was your incredible modesty.
- JOHN (over TV): Liar! - Oh, shit!
He's in his zone tonight.
I hope she can handle it.
The beach, the sunset...
At least there's no romantic fire.
Ah!
(laughs): Mine's on fire!
Thank you.
(Kate laughing)
Ew.
So, um...
can I give you a ride home?
Now?
Yeah. Yeah.
Um...
I have to pee.
(chuckles)
That was too much information.
It's okay.
Your secret's safe with me.
L-I gotta make sure...
Tommy's got a ride home, anyway, so, uh...
I'll meet you at the truck?
Yeah. Yeah.
Hello.
I need some help here.
We didn't prepare her for this.
- Hi. - Hey.
Okay, a ride home? Wh-what do I do?
Just breathe.
This is really good. It means he's into you.
Do you think he's going to make a move?
No, if anything, it's just going to be a kiss.
He keeps it PG-13 on the first night.
Okay. Are you a good kisser?
L-l-I don't know. How does anybody know?
Do guys tell you you're a good kisser?
Oh, my God, l-I'm a bad kisser.
Okay, stop.
All we need is one kiss...
and then you leave him wanting more.
It is not that hard, okay?
Oh, my God.
I'm going to have to show you, aren't I?
- Okay. Um... - Right now?
Okay. Quick. Okay.
Come here.
You lock in on him...
grab onto that gorgeous head of hair...
and take control.
Hold his gaze.
Your lips might just touch, but not yet.
It's just gotta be the temptation.
And then you give him one light kiss.
BOY: Holy jama lama.
Kiss her again.
Do it.
Get out of here, you little perv!
- (gasps) - Shit!
Kate, I'm gone.
JOHN: Kate.
Can you kill the lights?
Uh...
- Hey. - Hey.
- Hi.
(giggles)
- (sighs) - What's wrong?
Nothing. Nothing.
L-I... I was just breathing.
I... (chuckles)
I breathe a lot.
Right. (chuckles)
(engine starting)
Beth's still in the truck.
What?!
Slut in truck!
Come on. We gotta move.
Oh, my God.
- Okay, okay, here we go. - (engine starts, revs)
JOHN: So...
what kind of music you into?
Good music.
Think I might have some of that.
Let's see.
(chuckles)
Here we go.
(Elvis Costello singing)
You like Elvis Costello?
You tell me you don't...
I'm kicking you out of the car right now.
No, l-l-I love him.
I mean... he's okay.
I guess. Whatever.
(Elvis Costello singing continuing)
So what are some of your other secrets?
Uh...
Well, if I told you, l-I'd have to kill you.
(Elvis Costello singing continuing)
(turns off engine, music stops)
I'm glad we did this.
I had a great time.
Me, too.
(mouthing)
Um...
Walk me to my door.
Sure.
Kate?
I could walk you to your door...
but...
then I'd be too tempted to kiss you.
And I really like you.
You know? And I...
l-I don't want to risk anything by moving too fast.
So...
rather than torture myself...
I'm just going to say good night.
So... good night.
- Ow! - Ow.
Ow. (laughs)
L-I think I bobbed when you weaved.
- Yeah. - (chuckles)
CARRI E: She's going off-book.
What just happened?
HEATHER (gasps): Is that Beth?
CARRI E: What?
Okay.
Bye.
(whispers): I always like a little risk.
- Oh, my gosh. - Come on.
(laughing)
HEATHER: Uh-oh.
Something is not right.
(chuckling)
(electrical zap)
Wh... whoa.
- (zapping) - (grunts)
- Kate? - U-Um...
I don't want to risk anything by going too fast.
(zapping)
Ah. Ah.
(song playing)
It's not even my date...
and he still gets me out of my skirt.
(song continuing)
(fabric ripping)
(slapping pavement)
(sighs)
Whoa.
Honey, what happened?
The sprinklers. Sorry.
Oh! That could ruin a date, huh?
It wasn't a real date, Mom.
Right.
Um... (sniffs)
Listen, uh...
I don't think this is such a good idea.
You know, pretending to like a guy.
I just... I don't want to see you get hurt.
I'm not going to get hurt.
He is.
My advice...
is not to do this.
Mom, there's a lot of things I come to you for advice about...
but this is not one of them.
I'm sorry, but...
honestly, how manyJohn Tuckers...
have pulled a hit-and-run on you?
That's not fair.
I have met some pretty nice guys lately.
Right, yeah.
The drummer, the guy in rehab...
and, throw in that one from the tanning salon...
and you've hit the trifecta.
When did you get like this?
A month ago, you wouldn't like you right now.
A month ago, nobody liked me.
I did.
I'm sorry, I just...
It's been a long night. I'm a little... you know...
Yeah, it's okay.
I got a little of that, too.
Good night.
Kate?
Just be careful who you pretend to be.
I mean, I'd hate if you forgot who you are.
I was nobody, so there's really no risk in losing anything.
So, how long till you think he's back again?
I say he'll show up in the next... 30 seconds?
(tires screech in distance)
Come on.
CARRI E (whispering): Ah, like clockwork.
- (phone rings) - That's call number five.
That's two calls past desperate.
- Get it. - (phone rings)
Hello.
Hey, Kate. It's me.
(Beth giggles)
- John? - (girls giggle)
John Tucker?
Oh, yeah. Hey. Um, I just got in. What's up?
JOHN: (over speaker): So, did you figure out...
if you were doing anything on Saturday?
Um... yeah.
I did, and...
Oh, crap.
JOHN: What's the matter?
Uh, some perv's been checking out the house...
and I think I see him.
I think he's in a Jeep or something.
- JOHN: Really? - (Beth snorts)
You want me to cruise by and check it out?
No. We're just gonna call the cops.
JOHN: O-Okay.
Well, I'll-I'll talk to you later then.
Shit.
(starts engine, gears grind)
(tires skid)
- (laughter) - (trash cans crashing)
KATE: We figured if we'd hit stalking potential...
it was time to letJohn take me out on a real date.
What? We're not eating here?
Nah. I thought we'd do take-out.
(gasps, cries)
(dishes crashing)
Wait, where are we going?
Well, I could tell you...
but then I'd have to kill you.
- (laughs) - Come on.
There's our table.
Oh, my gosh.
Where are they?
Where'd they go?
CARRI E: Wait.
You guys...
I can't tell where they are.
(sobbing)
CARRI E: Okay, it's... it's definitely dark.
BETH (whispering): What?
I don't know. Outside, maybe?
(whispering): No effin' way!
BETH: Boat? Has anybody else been on the boat?
I've never been on the boat.
HEATHER: Nobody even told me he had a boat!
She's not equipped to handle this.
- (static whines) - Huh.
I'm losing them.
I'm losing them! Hey!
KATE (giggles): Oh, John.
- JOHN: I'm serious. - KATE: Stop it.
We've gotta get out there.
CARRI E: Come on!
We've gotta get there now-ish.
BETH: I can't! This motor sucks.
- Can't you go a little faster? - No.
Give me an oar. I could paddle faster than you!
Just pretend it's a whaling ship and...
go Greenpeace on their asses!
BETH: What? (yells)
- Hey! Hey! - (yells)
(engine dies)
Nice. Gilligan here just flooded the engine.
I'll give you "Gilligan."
- Heather, Heather, stop it! - Stop! Stop it! That's wet!
You have no idea what you're doing. Heather!
Wait.
(engine starts)
(burbling)
BETH: Okay. This is fine.
This is why God invented Triple-A.
(phone beeps)
Oh, no.
What?
No signal.
CARRI E: What?
No signal?
(Heather gasps)
- (ship horn sounds in distance) - (girls grunt and shriek)
(girls screaming)
KATE: It was the first time I was truly alone with John.
I can't quite explain it, but...
Okay, if I could dream ofhow a date should be...
JOHN: Now make a wish.
KATE: ...John Tucker did it better.
He did it way better.
I mean, when do you cue the dolphins?
Right. (sighs)
I mean, no-no-no-no, don't get me wrong.
It's... It's really nice, but...
are you really that scared...
to just hang out and be yourself?
Okay. Fair enough.
But it is terrifying, trying to impress you.
(chuckling): Me?
Kate, I mean...
you come out of nowhere...
and you've got high school dialed in.
(chuckles): I don't really think I'm that dialed.
No, uh, you're the varsity captain...
and the most popular guy in school, yeah?
(groans): Right, right, right, yeah, um, I guess.
You know, I'm-I'm just lucky.
Okay...
I'm really lucky.
Yeah, and-and-and that's why I'd be crazy...
not to make the most of it.
Look, Kate...
Maybe sometimes I come on too strong.
I don't know who else to be.
You know, I just gotta put my whole heart into things.
That sounds like an easy way to get it broken.
Well... luckily, I... figured out a way...
to protect myself against that.
Some kick-ass dance moves.
What?
- (chuckles) - Wha? (laughing) Oh, my gosh!
I wasn't ready for that.
I was thinking about going pro.
- (chuckling): Oh? - Laugh all you want.
There was a scout in the stands...
at last year's prom.
Wow. (giggles)
(song playing)
(song ends)
(gasps) Oh, my gosh, spill it.
We need to know everything. Every detail right now.
(all talking at once)
I... You- I mean, you-you guys dated him. You know.
Not on the high seas.
What the hell happened out there?
Um... nothing, you know? It was just-We... We talked...
and it was...
It was nice.
BETH: You just talked?
You mean, he was able to... get intimate without being...
like... intimate?
(chuckles)
CARRI E: Okay.
He is telling her anything she wants to hear.
Look, the only way to see if he's really fallen for her...
is to see how far Kate can push him...
at the hotel after the away game.
Right. Yeah, l-I... I can do that.
Oh, no. Oh, no, I know that look.
He's got you under his spell.
What? No! L-I... (chuckles) Come on.
No, you come on.
You can't lose focus going into the finals.
Kate, we all believed him...
but there is no way to know what this guy is really thinking.
Yes, there is.
(whispering): I'm reporting from behind enemy lines...
a fortress, if you will, where the innermost workings...
of the male psyche reveal themselves...
like a slide under a microscope.
- (gasps) - Good practice. Good practice!
JOHN: Central is going down!
TEAMMATE: Get down!
(making farting noises)
(excited chattering)
- (making farting noises) - (laughter)
(whispering): That's disgusting.
Hey, look, Ma! No hands! (loud farting)
- (players groan) - (Carrie gags)
Disgusting. Nice work.
- Oh! Tommy! Nachos? - Damn!
- (Carrie gasping) - TOMMY: I think it was nachos.
- JOHN: Holy guacamole. - (muffled gagging)
TOMMY: Away game, dude. You gonna be my wingman?
Naw, I think I'm just gonna hang out with Kate tonight.
Aw, come on. So I gotta take care...
of all that Central High tail by myself?
- Guess so. - Ah, come on, man!
We gonna get us some girls...
or are you gonna act like one?
(teammates chuckling, jeering)
That's messed up, Tommy.
John. Please, please tell me...
you tapped that by now!
(teammates whooping)
Boys. Boys. Look...
you don't just pop an '82 Bordeaux...
'cause it's on your shelf.
CARRI E (whispering): Oh, please.
Great things take time.
Man, you whipped!
- (laughter) - Whipped, man!
Hey! Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Nobody is whipped, okay? John Tucker is not whipped.
CARRI E (whispering): Oh, here we go.
Let's just say, at tonight's away game...
I'm gonna be scoring more than baskets.
Oh, good.
You're gonna help me measure with the doodad and everything.
Oh, I actually thought I'd work with Alex today.
Oh, I... Well, he's gonna take you back...
without an insurance waiver?
Yeah, well, he's warmed up to me...
since his left eyebrow grew back.
Uh...
Hey, kiddo. Is your mom home?
Nope.
Is that him?
You're not seriously going out with Skip, are you?
Don't call him that.
We're just going out.
Mom, please don't do this.
- (scoffs) - Please?
He's probably in town for a layover...
and he's just looking for someone to lay over.
Very clever, sweetheart.
Can we not do this whole thing right now?
Mom, no wonder I'm so messed up.
I've never actually seen a functional relationship.
Who I date...
is none of your business.
Are you serious?
Can you imagine growing up with a mom who only dates jerks?
You don't really see how this affects me?
See you tomorrow.
Don't forget to lock the door when you sneak out.
(sighs)
KATE: So, your team's just won the semifinals...
you're at a hotel with all your friends...
I mean, this should be fun, shouldn't it?
CARRI E: Come on! Get up!
Let's go.
Now the real game begins.
Are you sure we're not going too far?
HEATHER: Look...
this game's in crunch time.
Kate, do you know what happens when you let your guard down...
around John Tucker?
Carrie, show her.
You need to see this.
- (Heather sighs) - CARRI E: Here.
(taps keys)
- TOMMY: Man, you whipped, man! - TEAMMATE: Whipped!
- Hold up! Hold up. - All right. What? What?
I am not whipped, okay?
John Tucker is not whipped.
I will have you know that at tonight's away game...
I'm gonna be scoring more than baskets.
TOMMY: Uncork it, then pork it.
- Okay, I got you on that one! - Slam-dunk, baby.
(all singing)
John Tucker, you are going down.
(all singing)
(taps keys, ; computer beeps)
(song playing)
What? Is it okay?
You should totally wear underwear to school.
- BETH: She's hot! - CARRI E: Yeah, you, girl!
(squeals and laughter)
(computer beeps)
TOMMY: "Kate S. Requests...
video chat with John T"?
(snickers)
Okay, you're gone.
- All right! Playa-playa! - Come on, Tommy. Up.
- Bye-bye. - Fabio. Ow.
- (computer beeps) - Hey, there.
Hey. You alone?
Yeah. You?
Yeah. It's so sad... 'cause I'm s...
I'm so... lovely.
(whispering): No!
- Lonely! - (John chuckles)
I'm so lonely.
JOHN: Well, maybe I could...
come over there and keep you company.
Oh. I'd like that... but there's a problem.
Coach Williams is out in the hall.
- She's totally watching. - (John sighs)
There's no way you could get in here.
- Damn it. - Unless...
you went out on the ledge...
and came in through the sliding door?
(chuckles) Yeah, right.
Yeah, that's crazy.
(sighs) It's too bad. I got all... dressed up.
Or... down.
(stammers) L-I could try the balcony.
KATE: Great! I'm three rooms down.
I already counted.
JOHN: I'll be right there.
Hold-Hold on!
Uh, hold on.
(chuckles): What?
Um...
I... got you a present?
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
It's... under your bed.
(paper rustles)
Ooh. A little preview?
KATE: N-No.
I want you to wear them.
What's wrong?
It's sexy. Haven't you ever done this before?
(chuckles) No.
That's cute.
You're just so... (chuckles) ...inexperienced.
What? (chuckles)
No, I am not inexperienced.
KATE: John...
Johnny. I thought that you might do this...
You know what? I am tired... (sighs)
...and it is getting really late, so...
I'll just see you tomorrow.
- Night. - Wait.
Wait. Um... Give me five minutes.
Okay.
(fast rock beat plays)
(rock song playing)
(rock song continuing)
- (screaming) - (John screams)
(body thuds)
- (growling): You! - I'm sorry!
...little!
- March! - Ow!
(whistle blowing)
- Ow! - Ooh! John!
- What are you wearing? - Dude, those are for ladies.
What... the hell?
I think this belongs to you, Coach.
I found it in my bed.
Coach, make her let go.
Let go.
(grunts, pants)
"Live and let live" is what I say, Tucker.
Takes all kinds to build a freeway.
But I am not equipped...
for this kind of weirdness...
this close to the playoffs!
(girls laughing, jeering)
(door closes)
(laughing, jeering continues)
(whispering): I guess it was four instead of three. Sorry.
COACH WI LLIAMS: Show's over, ladies.
Back to your rooms.
Show's over! Back to your rooms.
- (phone beeping) - GI RL: Hey, John!
Love the bow.
(chuckling): Your butt is my screensaver.
There he is.
(girls laughing, jeering)
GI RL: Hey, Tucker!
(laughter continuing)
(indistinct chattering)
(chatting stops)
All right, let's go!
Split up, shirts versus skins. Come on.
All right. Ball.
Dude, you wearing thongs again, man?
Yup.
(bouncing ball)
It's like letting your best friend sleep in a silk hammock.
They're breezy.
They don't bind.
And they give you just enough swing.
(teammates, bystanders cheering)
What?
JOHN: All right, guys, let's go!
(grunting)
(shouts)
(cheering)
Un... believable.
I'd hit him with my car...
if he wouldn't make a body cast a fashion statement.
Kate!
Hey. The other night didn't quite go like I'd hoped.
Yeah, I know. Sorry.
Nah, it's okay. Kind of spun it.
I noticed. Now everyone knows Victoria's secret.
Tommy was thinking we'd do it as a birthday theme.
"Not the Same Old Thong and Dance."
Cute.
Kate, Kate, wait. Wait, wait.
Look... you don't get it. Okay?
I was humiliated trying to get your attention...
and I'm not working this hard just so I can get some action.
So I'm not just some '82 Bordeaux...
you wanna "uncork and pork"?
Where'd you hear that?
No-No-No, look-look, that-that's just...
Iocker room talk, okay? That doesn't mean anything.
You act like a pig so you don't sound whipped?
Yes. Exactly.
Look, I'm... I'm saying things I don't believe.
I'm doing things I don't understand.
I mean, I put on your underwear and I scaled a building.
(sighs)
I'm trying so hard.
But I'm out of plays.
Kate... you're the one.
(sighs)
Look, I've... never done this before, so...
I'm not exactly sure how it goes.
(sighs)
It's just something personal.
Okay? Something to show you...
and whoever wants to know, that I'm whipped.
BOY: Excellent!
Yeah. I'm whipped.
Will you be my girlfriend?
Oh... my...
God.
CARRI E: We'll crush him.
Kill time. Bam!
Happy birthday, little Tucker.
CARRI E: (whispering): Okay, so, now we...
Um... y-you guys...
I'm feeling a little weird about this whole thing.
Huh?
- Kate... - (scoffs)
(scoffs): You said if you ever dated a guy like this...
you would get even.
I know, um, but...
Oh, my God, you love him!
Oh, we are doing a dating intervention.
This is for your own good.
CARRI E: Reality check, Kate:
(whispering): You're not really dating him.
You got Tucked over.
CARRI E: He didn't fall for you.
He fell for what we made you.
CARRI E: Who were you before you met us?
No one... and then we made you "the one"...
and this is how you repay us?
So, the little monster you created destroys John Tucker...
and then what? What happens to me?
- You become a legend! - Yeah!
- What if I don't want that? - Well, you can't have him!
And... this watch belongs to me!
I'm the head cheerleader. He's the team captain.
This watch should be mine!
What, you think because you're the head cheerleader...
you can get whatever you want?
- Exactly! - Hey! Girls! Stop.
Thanks, Carrie.
He deserves the best, okay?
He obviously deserves me.
- What?! - Please.
You don't care about him.
All you care about is getting into Hartford.
I believe it's "Har-vard."
Stop it. You guys, we're supposed to be friends.
Well, friends don't say they're gonna do something and then...
And then totally screw everybody over!
If you're not againstJohn, you are not with us.
(chuckles)
You guys really think this is gonna help you...
get overJohn Tucker?
You're either obsessed with destroying him...
or obsessed with dating him.
Either way, it's always all about him.
(chuckles) I'm done with it.
Well, cheerleaders don't quit.
I'm not a real cheerleader.
Whatever your plan is, count me out.
Well, don't worry about it...
because you're fired!
But...
- (door closes) - Okay.
- (sighs) - Hang on.
I think I know what we need.
(taps keys, video rewinds)
(rock music playing faintly over headphones)
KATE: I wish it couldjust be simple, like a retro pop song.
(quoting /yric)
Boom, end of story, we all live happily ever after.
SCOTT: That's a nice watch.
No, it's-it's not what it looks like.
But it's never really like that, is it?
Since when are Beth and Carrie friends with Heather?
Those girls absolutely hate each other, Kate.
And what are they doing talking to you?
(quiet chuckle)
(sighs)
What happened to you?
You were so different, and now you're like...
the rest of them- you fell for my brother.
No, l-I didn't.
No, it's-it's not like that. I mean...
It's something you cooked up with those three.
It's just a joke to you, isn't it?
You want to know whyJohn fell for you?
He thinks that you're the first...
honest relationship that he's been in.
Well, he's not that innocent, okay?
I mean, y-you know how John Tucker can be.
Everybody knows how he can be. He is John Tucker.
And still, every girl in school lines up...
to date him, knowing what they know.
And yeah, he lies to girls to get them to fall for him.
I can't imagine the kind of person who would do that.
Can you?
(slow, melancholy melody plays)
(crickets chirping softly)
Mom! The frosting!
There's cake under it.
Yeah. I sent Skip home.
(chuckles): Oh.
You know, I'm starting to get this whole "Skip" thing.
Look, I know my...
relationship stuff affects you.
I made mistakes.
But I would never plan to hurt somebody.
L-I'm just...
I just got so caught up in it.
I guess...
I was invisible for so long that...
it felt good to be noticed.
Kate...
you chose to be invisible.
You thought it would be easier that way.
(sighs): Well, they're noticing me now.
I mean, none of this is really me.
And-and now I don't even know who my real friends really are.
Maybe if you showed them the real Kate, you'd find out.
- (rock song playing) - (indistinct chatter)
(band playing rock music)
- Hey, happy birthday, bro. - Scrappy.
Hey, have you seen Tommy?
We have a birthday present forJohn.
Yeah, he's on stage, in the truck.
We 'bout to thump up in here!
- (song ends) - (cheering)
TOMMY: People in Planes. Yeah, that was loud right there!
Hey, look, check me out over here.
Come on, now, gather round.
It's John Tucker toast time! Yeah!
Hey, John, come up here, man!
All right, look, check this out.
A birthday comes but once a year...
and the good Lord you'll be thanking.
Now, old pal, let's cut this cake...
and see who's giving you...
- a... spanking! Ho-ho-ho! - (cheering, whooping, whistling)
- Tommy! Tommy, hey! - What's up? Whatcha got for me?
Oh, just a little something extra from the girls at Kodiak.
Me likey. I'm gonna start it right now.
- Okay, perfect. Here we go. - GUESTS: (all singing)
TOMMY: That was hot!
- (on TV): He's got mad skills! - Now take a look at hotter!
Boy can slam!
Move on back 'cause Tuck's our man!
We love you, John!
Happy birthday, John!
- Everyone in the Poetry Club... - JOHN: Kate!
- (girl continues talking on TV) - You made it. Come on.
Come wish me a happy birthday.
(quietly): John, that's not why I'm here.
(cheering)
JOHN (on TV): So, Kate...
this is just something to show you and...
whoever wants to know, that I'm whipped.
- You're the one, Kate. - CROWD: Aw...
Look, I've never done this before, so...
This is cool.
(on TV): ...I'm not exactly sure how it goes.
Will you be my girlfriend?
- (cheering) - BOY: Oh, yeah!
John Tucker, there's only one guy out there...
- for me... - Oh, no!
But you are not...
(feedback squeals)
(crowd murmuring)
What's going on?
Um...
(quietly): John, I have something I have to say.
This entire time...
I've been pretending to be a bunch of stuff that I'm not...
so you would... fall for me.
- BOY 1: Louder! - BOY 2: What's the deal?!
(over P.A.): We were trying to break your heart...
so you knew what it felt like.
"We"?
JOHN: I get it.
Well, hey...
you girls pulled it off.
Yeah.
It worked.
(quietly): I'm sorry.
(crowd murmuring)
- What's the deal?! - What's going on?!
You guys breaking up?
Look, this entire time, I've been...
I've been lying about who I am.
But... I'm done pretending.
This is the real me.
This is Kate.
- Hey, Kate! - Yeah?
(gasps)
You're ruining the party!
(laughter and whistling)
- That is so not fair. - Oh, no!
BETH: This is all our fault. You do not deserve this.
CARRI E: We should never have done this to you.
Give me that. Okay. Hey!
So big deal, she lied.
We all lied.
What, like you've never lied before?
Exactly. You should be throwing drinks at each other...
- Yeah. - Not her.
(cheering, shouting)
Everybody chill.
Look... they're right.
All right, we all do it.
I lie.
I pretend I'm whatever I need to to get girls.
And it works, dude!
BOTH: You're the man!
Naw, I'm not saying it's a good thing.
- It's a great thing! - JOHN: Guys...
what I'm trying to say is...
it's wrong.
There ain't nothin' wrong with hookin' up...
with the finest girls in the school!
- (cheering) - Yeah!
(cheering continues)
CROWD (chanting): Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker!
Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker!
CROWD: Oh!
(shouting, laughter)
(shouting, shrieking, laughing)
(rock music playing)
(rock music continuing)
John!
Hi.
- Hey. - Hey.
Wow, you look... clean.
(both chuckle)
Thanks. You look pretty clean yourself.
(laughs): Thanks.
- (sighs) - Listen...
I shouldn't have thrown the cake...
Kate, stop.
I deserved the cake in the face.
And, as hard as it might be for you to believe...
I'm gonna start telling the truth.
I mean it.
Okay, well, that... I think that's great.
So... truce?
I'd like that.
- (thud) - (gasps): Ow!
(chuckles)
I think you bobbed when I...
- Weaved. Yeah. - Right.
(laughs): Okay.
See you around.
Yeah. Good luck.
KATE: So, it took us 12 bottles of shampoo...
and three days to get the stripper cake out of our hair.
But you know what?
- SCOTT: Kate. - It was all worth it.
Hey, Kate.
Hey, um, uh, one sec.
- Hi. - Hey.
So, uh...
things didn't quite work out with Alex and I.
Um... see, we have shop together, as well.
- Was there another fire? - No.
No, I... I clearly warned him...
that I shouldn't be operating a band saw.
(laughs): No way.
Um...
but Chemistry does suck without you.
What do you say? Lab partners?
Are you sure?
Yes. I'm sure.
You're perfect, Kate.
Um... you know, 'cause you're, uh...
smarter than me, and so far, uh...
not flammable.
- (chuckles) - Right?
True.
(laughs)
You totally have a crush...
on the other Tucker.
She'll definitely need help with this one.
I just upgraded my boob cam.
- We can do a full-frontal attack. - No.
No. Let's just hang out tonight, okay?
Hang out?
Where's that gonna go on my college application?
KATE: And John Tucker?
We definitely got to him.
He never lied to a girl again.
Hey, beautiful.
Now, we need to go into this with our eyes open.
Complete honesty.
Jennifer, this is Jill...
my other girlfriend.
I think we can make this work.
And the girl who made John Tucker fall in love?
Well, she's a legend.
(rock song playing)
KATE: Oh!
I almost forgot.
If you're thinking of trying this at home...
just remember: When you mess with a John Tucker...
you better be prepared for the consequences.
(rock song continuing)
(laughing)
(song ends)
(rock intro plays)
(rock song playing)
(speaking Japanese, laughing)
(continue in Japanese)
Holy jama lama!
(excited talking, laughter)
(rock song continuing)
(song ends suddenly, new rock intro plays)
(new rock song playing)
(rock song continuing)
(rock song ends)
(laughing)